Something you are afraid of -
Failure.
I guess it is all in how you look at it. I am not afraid of failing a task, because all growing up it was never drilled into my head that it is not okay to fail. It was drilled into our heads to do our best. I had always tried my best and up until my junior year of college I never failed anything. Then I failed my first exam. I was crushed. It was not the failure itself it was the disappointment that I would be facing when I told my parents. Yes I was a junior in college, I wasn't even living at home anymore, but it was still a hard blow to face.
Now it has gotten to a whole different level. I am afraid that I am going to mess up my children somehow. I am now afraid to fail as a mother. I am afraid to fail as a wife and not be the Proverbs 31 wife that I want to be. I am afraid to fail as a business owner, if I fail at that I have to get a job and that would be the last nail in the coffin for me.
This is something that I deal with usually on my own. I know logically that fear it false evidence appearing real, but it gets me sometimes.
Lately I am glad to say that I have this fear in check. How you may be asking ... I relay on God. I give it to Him. I pray that He will help me be the best woman, mother, business owner and child of God every day. That He works through me. This way I am sort of answering to someone else. Sure I take full responsibility for my own actions, but I am less likely to beat myself over one day's failures because I know that God is helping me along my path.
For example, Day 9's post was not posted yesterday. I posted it today. That is a failure as a blogger, and I may have let some people down. If I did, I am sorry. Yesterday, I was using the laptop that has none of our pictures on it and I needed to post a picture. Instead of switching computers I just let it wait until today. Yesterday I was much to comfortable laying on the couch with my blanket and box of tissues. It was all too much work for me yesterday, now I am not going to beat myself up over this little failure. I owned it an I moved on from it. Today, I am back on track still feeling under the weather, but a little better than yesterday. Now, I better move onto dinner or I will be a failure of a wife and mother.
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