Where is God leading You?

This post is having a hard time getting started.  I guess it is because I have this whole thing about how I have to say things just right.  It is part of my perfectionism problem that I am working on.  So I am just going to say it.

I love to watch Joyce Meyer on TBN.  I try to watch her every morning, having two small children that does not always happen.  Last week I only caught it twice.  Both days she was talking about love and how we need to understand how much God loves us.  I know God loves me ... right?  

Sunday rolls around (after our night of chaos -upcoming post - it was a little difficult to get out of bed) and we are off to church.  Worship is all about how God loves us.  I know God loves me, but do I believe it?  I haven't heard from God in a while and we have a lot going on right now.  

Then a friend of mine, author Jillian Kent shared this article.  

What do I do when God is silent?  I think of how I am not doing enough to hear from God, I think I am not spending enough time with him.  I think He has left me hanging.  Then I think of the poem Footprints in the Sand, and sometimes even when I pray I say, "God this is probably one of those times that you are carrying me, but I just don't feel your presence right now." 

I try to write morning pages daily to clear my mind.  Usually they just stay in my journal, sometimes they inspire a post, or just lead me to a revelation.  

I think I have been lead to a revelation ... I don't believe that God loves me.  I know it in my head, I don't believe it in my heart.  We are all at different points in our walk with Christ.  This is where I am.  The "Good Christian Mom" (as I was called Saturday night) has belief issues.  

Thanks to my Bible.com App I am going to study this and study it until it is in my heart.   I am starting with "Why Does God Love Me?" If you don't have a smart phone or tablet you can get the same reading plans at YouVersion.com.  

Have a blessed week!