Monday, February 11, 2013

{My World Monday} Rolling with the Punches

It was another Christmas and new set of punches we needed to roll with.  We have not had a 'normal' Christmas since 2008.  2009 - 7 day old baby, 2010 - adjusting to the whole Christmas with more than just us, 2011 - 6 week old baby and now 2012 - far, far from normal.

I was updating pictures recently.  I was looking at the pictures from Christmas and said, "There is no way that any of these pictures will be seeing the light of day - at least the ones I am in."

Looking at these pictures I see - one tired mama.  Did I even put make-up on?  Did I even care?  Did I even want to be anywhere other than home?  For our Christmas celebrations I put on a game face and went about our day.  When we went home we put the kids to bed and crashed.    

But then I realized - when I got to the pictures of our Christmas morning - Little Miss and Little Mister will probably not remember this Christmas.  Little Mister doesn't even understand Santa.  Little Miss didn't get it that when she went to be Santa was supposed to come while she was sleeping.

Let's rewind just a little.

Christmas Eve Hubs and I were going on a date to a Christmas concert at our church.  I was feeling really yuck and debating not going.  He said, 'We need this, let's go and if we have to leave we will leave."  I get dressed, we drop the kids off at the in-laws and headed over to church.  Halfway through the concert I look at Hubs and say, "we need to go ... now."  We leave and head straight to the ER.

While at the ER I don't know which upset me more the fact that I was 'ruining' Christmas for our kids or that I was miscarrying our 3rd child.  None of our Christmas Eve traditions were happening.  Gifts weren't wrapped.  Nothing was ready for Christmas morning.  I still had hope that things would work out okay and I would get to go home.  Then I was told I had to stay overnight and I lost all hope.  Christmas was going to be ruined.  At least Hubs had gone home to put the kids to bed so they had something sort of normal.  Let's be honest, nothing was normal about that night.

Thank God that my bleeding had stopped enough and I was discharged at 9:30.  Now it was figuring out what were we going to do about Christmas morning.   I was not going to ruin Christmas for these two.

We came up with a plan on the way home.  I was going to go upstairs to wrap the gifts.  While I was up there Santa called and told Hubs that he had forgotten to pick up Eddie.  He asked if Hubs and Little Miss could put Eddie on the front stairs.  He would come and pick him up so Eddie the Elf could go home.  

To keep the kids busy Hubs kept them in the kitchen and let them have a cookie.  

I came down stairs to take a few pictures and Hubs moved them into the living room.  While in the living room Santa visited and picked up Eddie the Elf.  While he was there he left Little Miss and Little Mister's presents.

We decided to skip our big Christmas breakfast since it was so late.  We ate a small lunch and went down for nap - all 5 of us.

After nap we headed over to the in-laws for Christmas Dinner.  It was your typical holiday at the in-laws.  When we got home we all crashed.

I am thankful that we pulled together to get through.  The day after Christmas I told Hubs, this is my day to be sad and stay in bed.  I put on a strong enough front yesterday.  I let myself have that time to grieve.  Sure I still have my moments, but I am healing.  God is getting us through and for that I am thankful.  Next year I pray that Christmas is just 'normal'.

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