Tuesday, February 11, 2014

February Selfie Project - week one

 This picture has stirred up all sorts of stuff in me.  

What started it.  The night before I spent $5 on a curling wand.  I wanted to try it out and LOVED the results.  So, and I don't do it often, but I sent this picture to my husband via text with a "Hey look at this hottie!" type text.

Then ... I shared it on Facebook - "Best Beach Waves EVER!"  I rarely share the "selfie" on Facebook - usually it is more than just me.  Sharing this on Facebook got TONS of warranted comments, "wow, you look great" and the such.  Which usually would make me feel all sorts of uncomfortable.  With this picture they didn't though.  I just smiled inside and said thanks!

Well, then there was this ... "Mommy, will you put a clip and a pony in my hair so my hair looks pretty for Daddy."  -- Oh .. deflated.  Did my precious more beautiful than life 4 year old just think she needed to do something to herself to look pretty for someone else?  So what does any self-reflecting, self-respecting woman do?  Post my thought on Facebook.  {That is usually a mistake - just so you know.}

My thought was again, self-reflective.  In one of the million questions about why I was doing my hair did I answer, "I like to make my hair pretty for Daddy." too many times.  Well, this lead to - tell her not to worry about it because she is always going to be pretty comments, to teach self-confidence not beauty comments, to that is what princess movies and Barbies do to our little girls comments.

I am going to keep the princess thoughts to myself for now -- that will be another conversation at another time.

Then I decided that I was going to start a selfie project.  Basically, because I want to work on my self-confidence and finding the beauty in me that God has put there.  Finding the real reasons why I do what I do beauty wise.  Do I truly believe that no matter what I am good enough and pretty enough because God created me.  Yes, I have not treated my body the best, but I can start working on that.  First things first.  I have to realize where I am at.

Sunday 2/2/2014 - 15 minutes to pull together hair and makeup - not to bad if I do say so myself.  It must be the angle, but it looks like only 1/2 my face is working.  Why this work?  We were going to church and a woman who wants people to think she has it all together would look "put together".   

Monday 2/3/3014 - Fun messy sock bun for 2nd day hair.  It was early and it was cold.  Husband's robe is WARM!  Realized the importance of quiet time and how it affects our day Monday.  Why this look?  I wanted my hair out of my face and didn't want to use my quiet time getting a shower.  No one was going to see me except my family.  I cared, but wanted to be able to spend more time with God - and I could always put my face on later.

Tuesday - 2/4/2014  Okay, straight on pictures are not great for me.  The right side of my face squishes up more.  Strange.  I have a love hate relationship with the late shift.  Love I have time to get dressed / ready without worrying about the kids ... Hate Hubs will be gone until 8:30pm.  Why look?  If I don't dry my hair it ends up all over the place or tied up in a "I really don't care about anything, messy knot on the top of my head."  I do want to look nice for my husband.  No make up though because my face/eyes were really itching.
Wednesday - 2/5/2014  My clothes today totally reflect my emotions today.  I look cloudy, I feel cloudy.  My hair didn't stay like this long.  Messy, I don't care about my appearance hair showed up within minutes after taking this.  Why the look?  I am feeling cloudy - tried to do something with the hair, but it's not wanting to do anything and keeps falling out of whatever I do. -- At 4:30 I decided I would try to fix my mood by fixing my outward appearance.  Sometimes it helps.

Wednesday - Take 2.  So I stopped and got myself together.  Thinking pulling myself together would change my mood.  It wasn't the getting ready that changed it.  It was the praying and turning to the Father that changed my mood.  During my, "I am going to look better on the outside" time I was praying.  Praying for the cloud to be lifted and to have a clearer mind for the rest of the day.
Thursday - Bible Study Day. We hadn't been in 2 weeks and I was looking forward to going.  I took the time to "pull myself together."  Why the look:  Because unkept is unacceptable.  It's less the what other people would think of me and more what would I think of myself going out of the house seriously unkept.

Friday - I am getting sick.  Messy, I don't really care what I look like day and hair.  
What did I learn of week 1 of the selfie project?

1.  I use the term "pulled together" often.  What does that even mean?
2.  I like pictures from a side angle more than front on.
3.  It is true.  I still like to look nice for my man.  I have been very careful to say things like, "well I like my hair better when I do it." or "I don't like my hair looking super messy when we are going places."  Over "I want to look pretty for Daddy."
4.  I feel better about myself when I take the time to take care of myself.

What will the next week of the February Selfie Project bring?

1 comment:

  1. I think everyday, I feel my hair is unruly and little hands pull at it, so I put it up in a quick ponytail bun, I think I literally don't have time to fix anything and I say oh well, looks aren't that important...but I am beginning to feel like a real schlep.


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