Sunday, November 18, 2012

M is for "The Man {All About Me A to Z}

When I say "The Man" I am referring to My Man - yep.  This guy.  I love him.  Again, I know this is an All About Me challenge {that I am super far behind on ...  I am going to get caught up and get it done by the end of the year. }

So if you recall when you read J --- ages ago, I know.  I told you I was going to talk about my marriage story.   And I am going to. 

So how did we get to where we are now.  Let's rewind the clocks to July 5th, 2001 {That's over 11 years ago}.

Who was I ... I was a college graduate working a "stellar" job, not really making ends meet, living at home with Mom and Dad.  I had recently given up on getting the "love of my life" to realize that he wanted to be with me and started going on a string of first dates.  Only one of those did I actually want to turn into a second date, but he didn't want to share me with my "best friend".  At the time my best friend was a guy.

Who was "the man" ... He was a college graduate who decided to return to school full time and pursue his Master's Degree.

The phone call that changed my world forever.

The details of the call are not necessarily required, but what kind of story would this be?

So it was was 4:55 that day in July.  I recall this because when the phone rang, I considered not answering it because I had to get out right at 5 that day.  But I answered it.  I started talking to this man.  I get his info and find out that he is in grad school at the school I was considering going to.  What better way to get information on a school than talk to someone who was currently attending.  After our conversation he says, "Hey, could we talk outside of the financial aid setting sometime?"  

I must have hesitated because the next thing I hear is, "How about I give you my email address and we can go from there?"  So I get his email address and I sent him an email when I got home.  We started talking that day.

7 days later I was making a road trip to Ohio to meet this guy who I have only talked to.  Looking back it was pretty crazy, but I did have my client's (in the same area) personal phone number if he turned out to be an ax murderer.  I didn't get nervous until I was crossing the state line.

So I met him and his whole family that first day.  He took me around to a few places, we went out for pizza.  Really, first date type stuff.  I do recall us going to a dance club that first date as well.  I took his hand and said, "Come on let's get drinks."  He replied, "That is naughty."  I didn't know what that meant at the time.  I found out later it really surprised him because it showed that I wanted people to know I was with him.

Fast forward to December 1, 2001.  I was moving to Cincinnati, Ohio.  Much to my parents dismay.   It was a crazy beginning that still effects the ways things are interpreted.  But I found my own place and a job.  I was on my way to making a life for myself in Ohio.

We dated for 2 1/2 years and I was needing to find a new place.  He hated where I was living (his car got broke into) and didn't think things were all that safe.  He wanted me out closer to where he lived.  I couldn't afford to do it on my own.  So we moved got a place together.  I thought it was great, we were moving forward - we were serious.

About 6 months into that lease we split up.  I moved back to Wisconsin and my world was over.  I lost it all.  I lost my boyfriend.  I lost my independence.  I left my jobs.  I lost my friends.  I lost it all.

Life goes on right.  We tried the whole lets stay friends thing.  I am glad we did because it kept us talking, but it hurt a lot.  Had we not tried the whole friend thing I don't think we would have gotten back together, but we did.  The best decision we ever made!

So 6 months later or so, I am moving back to Ohio.  I finally hear those words I had been wanting to hear for 3 1/2 years from the man I loved.  I would love to say that he proposed and we got married right away, but it didn't work that way.  We started dating again, starting building our future again.  In 2005 we got Hickman #5.

I was starting to put the pressure on when we hit 2007.  We had been dating for almost 6 years!  We split up, we got back together, all of our friends were married.  It was time.  Valentine's Day of 2007 we went out and I picked out my engagement ring.  It had to get sized and everything so he didn't propose that night.  I knew it would happen on my birthday, he told me that plenty of times.

We went out for dinner with his family to O'Charley's and nothing, a few cards and small gifts but no ring.  I wanted it but knew it wouldn't happen.  On our way home he says we have a stop to make.  We pull into a Mercedes Benz lot.  {a little back story - at the time I really wanted one of these cars and we looked at them often.  This was not weird to be pulling into this lot}

We are looking around and he finds the UGLIEST car on the lot.  He is asking me about the car.  Do I like it, do I not like it?  Would it be okay to start with?  I am starting to wonder if he somehow got my ring in this car because of how much he was fussing over this car.  So finally he says ...

"So you would not take this model." 

"No, I do not like this one."

I turn and look at him, "Would you take this one instead?"
There he is holding my ring.

"Yes! Of course!"

For most women they would have been so disappointed.  He didn't get down on one knee, he didn't say "Sara Elizabeth Warner, will you marry me?"  or any of that stuff we hear on the movies.  It was so much better!  It was us, it was our world at the time.  It was memorable and it is our story.  I love the story, I am not sure he does, but I do.

So we pick a date 6-7-08.  Then things started getting stressful and money was becoming an issue.  We were talked into doing our wedding differently than I ever imagined.  We were encouraged to do a small wedding now and do a big wedding later.  So we decided that is what we could afford and that is what we did.  Maybe I will share the wedding story another time, but it is still hard for me to talk about without being bitter and hateful.

We got married on 9/15/2007.  

Our marriage has had it's ups and downs like every marriage.  We have made it through the, "fine I quit" stage of our marriage.  We have gotten past comparing our marriage to the marriage of our friends.  We still have things we are working on but we are choosing that being together we can do anything better than being alone.  

This is "The Man" he is my man.  I would not change him for anyone in the world.  Not even Tim Tebow.

1 comment:

  1. So happy you are back :-) Love this. Actually I love the Tim Tebow part!!!


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